Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Random thoughts of a Bikram (hot) yoga newbie

So I haven't posted anything in a while about how the diet is going. Probably because, as usual, it wasn't going anywhere.  I should have known. I mean, come on, shakes instead of food? Seriously? I love food way to much for that!  So, I decided to try something different for a change. I decided to stop the insanity of worrying about calories, fat, weight, and size.  I decided to become fit.  To become healthy.  To treat my body like it deserves to be treated.  How did I plan to do this?  


To begin, I'll just note that I before this, I had never done yoga before. Let alone hot yoga.  I knew nothing about it.  I had assumptions about it.  Like that it was for young, beautiful, thin, flexible women.  That it wouldn't really be a "workout", or get my heart rate up.  Well, I just finished my second week of Bikram yoga and I can tell you that all of those assumptions are false. Yoga goers come in all shapes, sizes, and ages.  What is very motivating for me is seeing how flexible some of the older people have become who have been doing it for a while.  While there are mostly women in my classes, they are also a few men from time to time.  And, I can definitely tell you I am getting my heart rate up!  For those of you who have never heard of Bikram yoga, it's a series of 26 yoga postures performed in a 105 degree room.  To say the least, it's intense!  I can honestly say that this is only form of exercise I have ever done that I can't seem to get enough of.  I find myself thinking about it throughout the day, actually looking forward to my next session.  It's indescribable.  It's like going to the chiropractor, massage therapist, gym, dermatologist, therapist, and spa all at the same time.


So, a big part of yoga is supposed to involve meditation, right? I have always said that I have way too much going on in my head to ever be able to meditate.  You are supposed to keep your eyes open throughout the session, to be "present".  This is hard for me, because I feel the only way to clear my head is to close my eyes. So, I am trying.  Today I found it extra hard because I sort of wrote this blog post in my head as I was doing my yoga.  Many thoughts pass through my mind during the 90 minutes.  Some of them positive, some negative, many conflicting.  Here they are.




  • I'm going to try to do every pose this time. I am.
  • I'm getting better at this.
  • It feels so good in here. Like a sauna.
  • Okay, I'll just skip one pose and drink my water. Just one.
  • I'm going to pass out.
  • I don't bend that way. It's just not possible. I think my elbows were put on upside down or something.
  • Look at that. I just did a perfect standing bow. Did she see it? Surely she will point it out!
  • Is it hotter in here today than usual? At least two degrees, I think.
  • I'm going to die.
  • My head is going to explode.
  • Must. Not. Open. Mouth.
  • I love this hot-ass room.
  • I hate this hot-ass room.
  • I will never be caught dead in those tiny little yoga shorts.
  • I MUST get a pair of those tiny little yoga shorts.
  • Someone stole my water. {They really didn't. I just kicked it behind me in a moment of gracefulness.}
  • How many poses are left?
  • I can't wait for that cold lavender towel.
  • I think I'll try the coconut water today.
  • I love that long savasana in the middle.
  • I can't wait until the floor poses, because if I stand up any longer I will surely pass out.
  • It's cooler on the floor, right? I mean, hot air rises. 
  • It's soooo much hotter on this floor. I mean, is the floor heated or something?
  • Why is my right elbow always the first thing to sweat? Really.
  • Why doesn't my face sweat more? It just turns redder and looks like it's going to explode.
  • My boobs are totally in the way.
  • Why can't I close my eyes during savasana? 
  • Why can't I decide on a focal point? I keep changing my mind.
  • What if I can't remember all these thoughts when I sit down to write this blog post?
  • I wish someone would get up and walk out like they did the first day, so for a brief moment when they open the door there would be a little breeze?
  • I'm going to die.
  • My hair is really getting on my nerves. These bangs have got to go.
  • Wow, my face is red.
  • I cannot stay in this room one second longer.
  • I must stay in this room.
  • There is no way I'll ever be able to do a toe stand.
  • I am not getting better at this.
  • I am totally getting better at this.
  • Finally, that move where you hook your fingers around your big toes! It's almost over! I'm going to get up immediately and leave this room.
  • It's over! I'm glad I positioned myself close to the door so I could get my lavender towel quicker! I'm just going to lie here for a while with it over my face because I can't possibly find the strength to stand up and leave the room!
It's a bit of a love/hate relationship as you can probably tell. But I really do love it. There is absolutely nothing like it in the world. I'm already bummed I can't go tomorrow. But, I'm looking forward to Friday when I can go again! 

Until then,

Namaste.